Day 3: Sub-Boss L took the podium to teach us comebacks to the excuses we get.“I’m broke” = Where are you broke, I’ve got some crazy glue right here, I’ll fix you right up.
“I’m allergic” = Really, I’ve got Benadryl in a bottle (doesn’t benadryl come in a bottle anyway?) I’ve since come up with a better one: Are you allergic to beautiful women/men too?
“No English” = Really, let me help you learn a few more words “Calvin. Klein”
“I don’t have time.” = Really, I have ETERNITY.
Boss J quickly got bored and shooed Sub-Boss L away and took over. “I don’t have all damn day, these folks need to get to the field and drop some bottles and make some money. Today’s Friday, pay day. On Fridays I’ll wear a damn gas station out. I’ll work the shit out of bank. You need to work fast, very fuckin’ fast. Remember, you talk to three hunner, you spray one hunner, you drop ten, fifteen, and then you wake up one day, and you’re a goddamn me-yun-nur.”
“You need to know where everybody in your crew is at all times. Don’t be wandering off and wasting time looking for people. Don’t be calling me asking where people in your team are. You got to CO-MUN-I-CATE.”
“Compliment your customers, but don’t be full of shit when you compliment a lady. They see through that shit.”
“It’s a vicious cycle folks. Let me draw it for you: You have a great attitude, you have fun, you drop bottles, you make money, you get promoted, your attitude gets better. On the other hand, if your attitude is shitty, you don’t have no fun, you don’t drop no bottles, you don’t make no money, you don’t get promoted, and your attitude gets what, folks?”
“That’s right, Shittier!”
“So check the shittiness at the door and go out there and drop some bottles and make some money!”
Posts
You are prolific!
ReplyDeleteThat's right, I aim to be the most prolific bottle dropper in the world! Thanks so much for adding my blog to your blog roll...that inspires me to keep on truckin.' We'll see what I can come up with here in a little bit.
ReplyDelete